As I face the struggles that growing older entails, I am realizing that I have just barely entered the fray. I am surprised by the things that I once thought were easy and commonplace now I view them as harder and something to avoid if possible. I have limited physical and mental resources and want to avoid the misuse of what I have so I measure them out much more carefully now than ever before.
When I visit my parents ages 96 and 94, who are currently living on their own. I try and put myself in their shoes to try and get an idea of what life is like at that age. Neither parent drives so they have groceries delivered and live everyday inside their 2 bedroom condo. They go for a walk, weather permitting. Then there is of course the doctors appointments. My mother cooks 3 meals a day everyday because they have limited options otherwise. They live is a small town with very limited food delivery beyond pizza. Everyday is a struggle to get by, while they have food and shelter they have little else to look forward to. Children call and occasionally visit, most live out of town, while they try and stay in touch visits are not often accomplished. Life seems to revolve around reading and tv and completing the mundane everyday tasks, coupled with occasional health scares and the continuous coping of physical decline. The acceptance that “well I can no longer do that” is remarkable. Both remain happy and upbeat even as the difficulties continue to press on and build.
What I see as an important ingredient in aging well is being able to be mentally flexible and accept the curves that life throws at you. Accept that limits happen and that you just have to move forward towards the next and the next and the next changes that are coming. Keep running the race, stay in the fight and do the best you can all the while trying to make life as good as you can for those around you. Be happy, be at peace and hope for good health.